What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops