Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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I <3 Hitler

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Jake. Walsh.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops