Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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A fat guy!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Poop.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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