I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

thumb_up thumb_down -30

roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops