There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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KILL WHITEY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops