Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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