- Anti Joke

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

The american education system.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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