What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops