Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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The Oakland Raiders

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bologna

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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