Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops