What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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I'm so punny.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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