roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Justin Beiber

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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