Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What's one plus one? two.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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