A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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