what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I think everybody should have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops