How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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