An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops