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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

what happened to your carpool? they died.

why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

What's one plus one? two.

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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