why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

thumb_up thumb_down

Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

thumb_up thumb_down

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down

FIONN'S LIFE

thumb_up thumb_down

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down

ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

thumb_up thumb_down

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops