How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...