Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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