whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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