Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Obama lin Baden.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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