Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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