if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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i had sex.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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