What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

im saul and i love cock

What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

rent a cops

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...