Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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