Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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the economy.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops