A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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