Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Jake. Walsh.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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I <3 Hitler

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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