What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops