A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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