what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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