Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you black? Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops