Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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