What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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