A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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p

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Please ignore this statement.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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