What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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