There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jordan is pregant

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You're a big fat monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

have you ever had african food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -10

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops