A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Why? Why not?

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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