What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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