Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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