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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

A man walks into a bar. Ow

"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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