A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Sixty... eight

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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