Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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