Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops