You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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