What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was once a man who lived in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Reed read? A. Read?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops