How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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