Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Military intelligence.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Hey, you have small hands.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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