What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

Read a Book.

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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