Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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homosexuals are gay

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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