Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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people magazine

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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Jersey Shore.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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