What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops